I never want to do THAT again!!!!!

I received my first official terrifying moment as a mother last night. Jack threw a whooper fit in the tub last night (odd b/c he usually loves his baths). I decided to do the one thing that always soothes him, nursing. Jason and I noticed his chest was retracting, basically caving in with each breath, a warning sign that he wasn't getting enough air. We freaked, naturally! After searching in vain for a 24 hour urgent care center, we finally went to Dallas Regional. I have a hard time describing how I felt. At any moment, I felt as if I was going to start sobbing uncontrollably. I don't know if my pulse has ever been that out of control. Thank God for my hubby. He remained so calm and controlled. We really are opposites. I am so controlled by my emotions. He relies on his logic and common sense (something I don't have much of). The nurse put a cute little monitor on Jack's toe. His vitals were great, in fact perfect. BTW, we also found out that he's now over seventeen pounds! The doctor thought he was probably coming down with a respiratory virus. He received a breathing treatment, and we were sent home.

Today, the pediatrician told my hubby that Jack does indeed have bronchiolitis, an infection in his small air sacs. She said if he's still eating and playing not to worry. There is a slight chance his breathing could get worse and we would have to return to the hospital. As a new mother, nothing worries me more than my little guy's lungs. Knowing something is wrong with them is making me a wreck; however, I have a strong boy who's breastfed. This increases his chances for a quick recovery.

Needless to say, my Christmas decorations are still in their boxes. Poor snowmen :(

Cereal Killer!

Jack had his first cereal experience on Thanksgiving. All in all, he did well. I'll call it an "experience" because I'm not positive how much ingesting actually went on. The doctor said to wait insisting that he did not need the empty calories. I am finding that I am an enabler. Giving him his first cereal on Thanksgiving was just too tempting. Plus, when every day consists of some "first", this will be a "first" I will definitely remember. He's getting quite good at the eating thing now. I can't wait to introduce veggies. Somehow, looking at Jack, I think he'll prefer the sweet fruits. :)

Giving Thanks

Well we made it through Jack's first Thanksgiving! To be honest, the hubby and I were a bit nervous about the whole ordeal. We had two dinners in one day. Jack isn't an awesome napper to start with, and we just knew he would refuse to sleep and have major malfunctions by the end of the day. Surprisingly, he took two decent naps. We brought his pack n play this time. Everyone held and enjoyed him. It was such a different experience having other people hold Jack the whole time. During the colic days, people would take him, hold him for a minute, and then hand my baby back to me with a look of bewilderment on their faces. I don't blame them. I didn't know what to do with him and I'm his mother. I'm sooooo happy everyone can enjoy him, finally.

Remembering...

I just read a good friend's blog. Her little boy is six months old, and she posted a newborn picture next to a recent one. Just looking at how much her little boy has grown made my eyes water. I got to thinking about Jack and how far we've all come. The first weeks were so hard with the colic. I was just cleaning out some documents on my computer and found a poem I wrote when I was just a few weeks pregnant. I'm not claiming to be a poet or anything, but this just seems to capture what I was feeling (and still do) about my role in Jack's life and his in mine.

I loved you when you were an idea, conceived from love and wanting.
I felt you before you attached yourself to my inner being, feeding off my joy and worry.
I know at this moment I am creating a legacy that will thrive beyond my existence and whisper what I once was.
Your dependence on me mirrors my need for you.
My hope, happiness, and strength reside within your possibility.

Let Sleeping Babies Lie?

Recently several of my friends and family have been doing this blogging thing. I have hesitated because, knowing my insane procrastination abilities, I've been afraid to get anything started that I may not finish. Then I thought, "Get over yourself. It's just a blog." So this is my official blog about my little guy, Jack, born August 9th of this year. I thought this would be a great way to share not only great events in Jackland but also my concerns about being a first time mom. So drum roll please....

I'm finally getting around to finishing this blog. Whew, motherhood is a busy career! I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, our new development is that Jack can now flip over. This has been bittersweet.
Of course, I'm thrilled that my baby is thriving and learning new things; however, we've worked too hard to get this sleep thing down. Now we've hit a bump. Jack likes to flip himself over at bedtime and scream.

Tonight I tried this graduated extinction method (basically I come in and check on him but I don't pick him up). Needless to say, I'm in tears and feeling very low. The whole process took thirty minutes. He is now resting peacefully. He basically has learn to put himself to sleep. I know this is just a taste of times to come. Learning is sometimes difficult and scary and I'm doing him no favors by rushing in to dry his tears. So for now I'll be waiting in the other room, broken hearted, knowing it's for the best. I'm sure I'll be doing much more of this in the future (esp. during the teenage years). The first night I put him in his crib and he drifts off on his own I'll be so proud of both of us.